This was right on time! I’ve been trying to find balance in this area waiting to be pursued without feeling like the helpless lady Thank you for your transparency and honesty! Reply » KimOctober 9 2015Amen! So true! I definitely needed to read this today SFJanuI love this I feel that EVERY woman needs to read this and internalize it’s message There are so many things that a woman is already doing she does not need to take care of the pursuing a man as well! I am such a Mandy. Sponsored Products are advertisements for products sold by merchants on When you click on a Sponsored Product ad you will be taken to an Amazon detail page where you can learn more about the product and purchase it To learn more about Amazon Sponsored Products. After reading your post I am feeling a little more I love to consciously think about what my heart already knows and understands However although I feel like I logically understand all of your points there is a part of me that will probably always say “but…” to excuse some ’s behavior or justify my own What I want to do more is follow my heart trust my gut and have faith I truly believe happiness is a choice (or a result of choices you make) and when you choose to “chase” you are choosing to be unhappy So maybe from now on I need to ask myself what will make me happy? Not just in the moment but in a more general sense Yes it might feel nice to spend some time with a you’ve been trying to “reel in,” but do those few slivers of happiness make up for the hours of anguish and sadness in not feeling “good enough?” Nope. I’m sorry Amanda and completely relate I hope time will heal both our pain DeAnnaNovember 8 2015Beautiful! My boyfriend broke up with me today and my heart is breaking I need to remind myself daily that I deserve the best not what I thought was. This article just nailed it Its so true but we women keep forgetting Thanks for the lovely article. Loading Thank you for sharing this thought I’m currently on this exact situation I’ve invested too much emotion I’m having difficulties dettaching myself It’s something I needed to read Maybe it was meant for me to see and read this random thought you’ve shared Reply » FaithOctober. Ain’t that the truth! Hard to swallow but very true Been there multiple times done that multiple times and it has NEVER ended well! I just pray for Grace to not repeat the pattern or get ahead of myself and start pursuing them now that I have realized that is what I was doing It really is just not. Ms Teri – How does this sound to you? Women will do anything to avoid feeling if we chase them,they can even if they like you lots isn’t a good idea… They will take the upper hand and keep it so you never feel at ease and you give away more than is healthy Sound familiar? “By fostering a greater understanding of the workings of debt collection [ Paper] sheds enough light into the shadows to compel readers to push for change.” ―Publishers Weekly“ Paper is nonfiction that reads like the finest thriller: suspenseful and frightening eye-opening and even at times funny Jake Halpern's fascinating fearless tour of the underworld of debt collections introduces us to a cast of characters--the (mostly) men behind the scary phone calls--who deserve to be the stars of the next great HBO drama.” ―Joseph Finder bestselling author of Suspicion and Paranoia“ Paper is a riveting tale fast-paced and filled with unforgettable characters It is also a deeply reported and powerful exploration of America's shadow economy.” ―David Grann author of The Lost City of Z and staff writer for The New Yorker I absolutely LOVE this article It’s straight to the point and true from my dating and marriage experiences I’ve chased and been chased My gift to myself for 2017 and forward is to not make someone a priority who I am not a priority to and to follow the Mans lead or exit stage left if he’s not worthy to follow Reply » becsJanuI loved this article & needed a pleasant reminder. This really hit me straight to my heart Obviously I know that he doesn’t like me but I still would want to believe that he does I keep blinding myself with the truth that I’m over someone who doesn’t want to caught This is a hard core truth As as it strike me I need these words to wake me up in my nightmare I would want to be called dream. Look at the evidence of relationships that have started because the woman chased and endlessly pursued the man It speaks for itself KristieApSo the man takes a risk at rejection when he pursues A woman risks rejection after you meet It has to do with a natural order of things Just because he pursues doesn’t mean she will be interested And vice versa just because she likes him doesnt mean he is interested Its risky on both sides just at different times. There's a problem loading this menu right now Learn more about Amazon Prime. Truth Mandy!! I thought I was being a “21st Century Woman” by and pursuing a Nope Turns out the natural order of things is for a Man to pursue a woman (Yep some things never get old) Once I finally “got it” I stopped after him I even stopped calling and texting him On Christmas day he stopped by my house and brought me a gift He was not on MY Christmas list this year because after the way he treated me this past Spring and Summer there was no way I was going to reward behavior So I accepted the gift (most people said I shouldn’t have but let me tell you this gift was a loooong time coming LOL) and told him thank you and sent him on his way Now let’s see what happens next. Generalizations I really don’t like them For men or. Needed to read this desperately Going through a rough period after a recent breakup Been feeling depressed & upset After 6 months and seeing each other every day he just disappeared with no explanation I feel like a complete idiot that I was played I actually kept asking him to tell me why or what happened to get closure He won’t respond….praying for healing to get through this After reading all the posts I can’t believe how many women are going through similar situations It’s sad… It’s amazing after all the equality rants you still want men to pursue For What?? The message is clear we’re not because somewhere in the past women stopped being worth the risk I used to be an engaged in the dating scene after my divorce Point blank no man knows what response he’ll get from a woman he wants to approach I’ve lived and watched horror stories unfold starting just. I think I m him coz I always ask him to visit me I feel like I’m the only 1 who want future with him even if he must cum and see me I have to ask sometimes he just give stupid reasons and endup not coming I can’t stay away from him mybe I’m him indeed Y can’t he just cum bfo I ask Reply » RaniaApExcellent article and. Disagree I chased my current husband for a while He was interested in playing the field at the time I felt there was a connection worth pursuing One day he said he realized no other girl would ever love him as much and we have been together for 15 years It all depends… I have been chased in the past and it turned me off as much as we say it would put a off to be chased I think we should just go with our more and not put so much thought into it Chats meant to be. This is so true I totally needed to read this I have had an on again off again boyfriend for ten years Everything that was said in this article was everything I needed to hear Now I just have to apply this to my life! Thanks for sharing Benta SilaNovember 4 2015Exactly what I needed This article is. “Jake Halpern knows how to follow the money Only a consummate reporter could have achieved such an intimateview of the two debt collectors he chronicles here And because he really knows how to tell a story we can't take our eyes off this nasty business.” ―Anne Fadiman National Book Critics Circle Award–winning author of The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down“ Paper is a terrific achievement--for the wonderful Ponzi-scheme absurdity of the story for the outsized characters and the skeptical sympathy they elicit It's a book that hangs out in that gray and widening zone where the civilization we take for granted starts to break down and it reads like Michael Lewis with a sense of the abyss It's about downward mobility and the subtle apocalypse and it feels important--important in the way few books ever are.” ―Gideon Lewis-Kraus author of A Sense of Direction Sponsored Products are advertisements for products sold by merchants on When you click on a Sponsored Product ad you will be taken to an Amazon detail page where you can learn more about the product and purchase it To learn more about Amazon Sponsored Products. Exactly! One of my motto is “no game playing” I am the sort of sociable girl that find introverted intelligent nerdy men sexy That is just my type With shy men it is an exception He will need lots of encouragement to make a move Flirt tease him even ask him out on first date Shy s are terrified of rejection They will not give chase unless they know the girl is into him If he response favourably and starts to put in the efforts then keep going If he is lazy move on I dated shy men all my life and once they warm up to you they can be really devoted romantic lovers These are the s that buy you the little gifts your favorite food flowers and cook you food on an ongoing basis and rarely tell you what. Both men and women project their own high interest level and intense feelings onto their luv interest Its very difficult to be objective when wishful thinking tskes over never works for either Person in a relationship or a potential one person in the relationship Is not motivated enough by the intensity of their feelings to drop their defensiveness and the other person is then the begins That’s what is happening right now,I can’t even stop,I keep texting him every min,sometimes he just read and not reply,but I see my self texting again,I feel like am going insane,I just want to let him go,but I can’t I just have to delete his contacts but didn’t block him,just in case he want me around,and he want to be with me,but I can’t wait any longer,I just want my love for him. Omg I so relate to all of this just like it seems many other women do also (power in numbers) I feel like I just went on a spiritual journey and realized that I need to snap back to reality and find a mind that wants to pursue ME I am worthy I am great I am worth pursuing. Its weird because I know that I am not supposed to chase men because it just ends up in a heartbreak but what if the s that I usually date are really shy and are just way to intimated and shy to say anything to me? I always date men who are very introverted for some reason I understand that im not supposed to chase men and this is such a good blog post because I chased my ex and he literally broke my heart So trust me I learned my lesson! I just think not all men are outgoing enough to approach girls if that makes sense So its kind of hard for me differentiate the difference between and just doing what I have to for the circumstance If that makes any sense. Almost the same thing happened to me And it’s funny that when you’ve moved on they come around after you pursuing you again thinking you’d fall for those same words How little do they think of us? I’m nice but I am not stupid to be giving second chances with someone who was never certain of having me in the first place I certainly agree no one has to be anyone just so you can have them There’s a difference between and persevering. Thanks for sharing your story You are right If a man is you be a treasure not trash when he catches you My father told me to be an asset to a man not a liability I need to bring something to the table too FridaDecember 4 2016I hve the same problm I always gave the relationship a chance Bt it took me. I totally agree but why though? s can fail to get girls too they don’t always succeed what’s the difference between s pursuing girls and girls pursuing s? both can fail on getting their love (trying to win a debate with my friends) This is a joke and the reason why men gave up persueing women All the thinks you wrote about us men applied to women too I stipe’s woman as I was so sick & tired of never getting a reply or any equal interest Today I say screw that women arnt even worth the hassle They piss me off more than they make me happy… This applies to a lot of men We are sick as tired of entitle.
Totally just screencapped #5 I’ve always told myself that if the cat an mouse game finally ended and he decided to settle with me I probably wouldn’t want him So next time I decide I’m bored an want to text him I’m just gonna open #5 an read that instead The only s who chase after me are short fat unattractive and unaccomplished Tahasha manAugust 7 2016Thank you Thank you Thank you! Now I can really let go of him I am going to stop following him on instagram I tried everything to let him go but this article has. Tomorrow I will have a pre-scheduled meeting with a man who I considered a professional colleague About a month ago I invited him out for drinks because I thought he and my brother in law would hit it off as friends (They own the same type of business) Brother didn’t show but the turned the tables when he began to flirt and pursue me for the next few weeks Then nothing Crickets I was forced to call him last week to confirm the meeting and he was cocky and I could tell he felt he was the prize to be won… not me Tonight I was googling ways to be direct with him and ran across this post! Love how that worked out Thank. It’s a well known fact – playing a little hard to get works in your favor because it adds mystery to the pursuit. Thnk u many tht was really helpful Reply » AshleySeptember 5 2016Great article! Right if you chase a man you gonna end up being rejected…I chased a man and he ran opposite of me:( SaritaMaAmazing blog…I believe in this thinking …So true. I hope wherever you are in your journey today you’ll realize that you are worth being pursued You deserve a man who is willing to do whatever it takes to capture your heart Take off those running shoes and give your legs and your heart a break What would you add to this list? Sound off in the comments below! If you want to read the story of the relationship I chased after for eight long years (I am living proof that is a idea) grab my book (& New York Times Bestseller) I’ve Never Been to Vegas But My Luggage Has at any bookstore or order. “if you have to chase him ladies here’s the cold hard truth: He doesn’t want to be caught A man who wants to be with a woman will always be running TOWARD her not away from her.” I wish we could syringe each and every alive woman on this planet with this dosage…damn girl! *go with our gut more *whats meant to be will be WolfgangOctober 3 2016I wish all women would think the way. “Jake Halpern's gripping tale provides an unprecedented view into the criminal underbelly of consumer finance It's required reading not only for everybody with creditors on the line but for anybody who cares about money or debt.” ―Felix Salmon senior editor Fusion“The old homily ‘there is no place like home' has never been more poignantly and wittily revealed than by Jake Halpern in these lovely vignettes.” ―Studs Terkel with praise for Braving Home“Strangely fascinating and endearing In short it's terrific.” ―Bill Bryson with praise for Braving Home“Not for a long time have I read a book so good and so wise.” ―Robert Stone with praise for Braving Home Hi Michael It is my opinion that a man SHOULD be the pursuer thus the reason for my stance in my book/Facebook/my blog/etc I’ve done it both ways and I know firsthand (and from literally all of my girlfriends and all the ladies who reach out to me for advice) that as much as a man might say he doesn’t want to be the pursuer…the minute a woman starts him is the very minute he gets bored and bails So that is my stance and it won’t be changing anytime soon and unless I see evidence to point me to the contrary You don’t have to agree with me In fact I would urge you to start your own blog and change the conversation and even prove me wrong 🙂 However based on my faith and other values my viewpoints on the roles of men and women in a relationship are not going to change. Love this blog! Specially number 5 is a fact! I done everything i could to save the relationship and still left me without a word said….so i didn’t chase him after that coz i know i’ve done my best…but my best will never ever be good enough. You know what I read this; and I realised how much I really needed to hear this I’m a young girl (18) and for the past week have been frantically stalking this boy I have spoken to just twice I know this may be typical teenage behaviour but I really do feel like I’m losing my mind waiting for him to text me I know I shouldn’t be acting so obsessively but I can’t help myself It’s quite embarrassing I’ve been such a fool for the past 2.5 years This is incredibly true Without question separating reason from emotions and not letting your emotions drive your decisions can be a challenge If he doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated or with respect and honesty then he’s definitely not worth pursuing Move on as fast as you can…like I finally am Realize your self worth set boundaries and the pieces will fall into place with the right person. Really wish I had read this sooner Smh screwed myself over this time I’ve got no one to blame but myself Reply » kekeExactly,eventhough i sometimes feel lonely,i will never chase a man,plus we ladies chase thee wrong s who dont even. I am so glad I read this so true! I am going through this right now with a who plays It really does bring your self esteem down he sends me so many mixed signals it’s like he’s here with me then he disappears for weeks He never calls or texts I am the one who makes all the moves but no more He says he doesn’t want to commit but treats me like we are together He wants his cake and eat it to it’s like he is always looking for the next best thing it is very hard not to contact him but I think he doesn’t bc he always figures that know matter what I will be here waiting for him and he is right I need to. I totally agree with the 5 points and thanks a lot for that but please allow me to say that Scarlett O’Hara never sat down sniffing smelling salts waiting for a to rescue her I actually wish i wasw more like her I really could use a bit of her I-don-t-give-a-shit-ness, This is what pisses me off about men just be honest and tell me you changed your mind you’re seeing someone else you don’t think this is going to work…I’d personally rather have that little bit of hurt upfront so that I know and I can move on Than become bewildered feeling about myself and confused as to why you started to ignore me Who the F knew at 49 I’d be dealing with this sh*t!!! I am so over it…dating sucks and it’s exhausting!! I am longing for my soulmate and that deep connection with someone but it hurts too damn much trying to find it…glad I found this blog! Thanks… Your Shopping Cart is empty Give it purpose—fill it with books DVDs clothes electronics and more If you already have an account sign in There's a problem previewing your cart right now Check your Internet connection and go to your cart or. Dealing with this right now Put up my running shoes today I’m done!!! Reply » GiGiOctoYou go girl I’m happy. It’s SO tiring still trying to capture a man’s heart when he’s supposedly already yours!! Reply » tammyOctoHi Tess a man of character will want to capture your heart there will be no supposedly he will make. I loved this post I have to agree with that was. This is so true It will save you from wasting. I’ve been “seeing” this for 2 months now I’m completely infatuated and I can absolutely see a future with him… BUT I’ve been him And he doesn’t seem as into me as I am into him When we are actually hanging out hes very sweet (holds my hands cuddles etc.) but he has done no and after reading this it’s time for him to do the !! It’s going to be tough but it needs to happen 🙁 Point number 5 was so well written by your experience it shows that you know what to say…and I can relate thanks a lot for the read The last sentence in point #5 is bang on… Sometimes all you thought you wanted was never for you to begin once you have it you realize it Cheers ladies:) This is such bullshit why do women strive for equality in society and then act in this hypocritical manner? do you think men enjoy women? and getting turned down constantly? it’s bullshit and it’s attitudes like that that’ll never get you a significant other Julie I relate I was involved with a man for 18 years I thought if I was the goodvgirlfriend give him sex and be devoted he would marry me Instead I waited and wait….nothing Then I started feeling conviction I’m a Christian and I knew I wasn’t honoring God so I took sex off the table That’s when the relationship got complicated On again off again until he finally decides he wants to get married But things were so different Unequally yoked for one We’re both originally from Cleveland OH He moved to Columbus for a job I found a a job about 9 months later It was a disaster We hardly saw each other I had no idea who his friends were We were living 2 separate lives I was not happy So I made the decision to let him go Now having to take the time and let my. I am 43 years old My fiancé broke up with me two years ago Now we have been dating for two years Although as time goes by He gets distant and ignored my text messages and does not call Now he’s stating that “he just needs to be alone” We have been back and forth numerous times When we first met he chased me Then after 3 months I fell for him He proposed to me Then as I was falling in love he ran the other direction I don’t want to chase anymore Him needing alone time ? Is that his cowardly way of breaking up or he is seeing someone else ? I know with him when he moved out of my house when he broke off engaging he asked how come I did not pursue him ???? I don’t get it If u pursue they run away If u dont and show them that u might have someone else They come running Hey Lisa im Ikema…I have been likeing this for mmmm 3 months now and its been a looooong long time since a gentleman like him has came my way and i feel like this is the type of man for me…he’s affectionate he’s romantic he opens doors for me but at times he’s stood me up and shit im like you tell me that something came up or u decided to hang with someone else and not me…i hate to be ignored…they say shit gets worst before it gets good or things are great in the beginning and then here comes silence of the lambs i hate. I agree with this post when it comes to dating and courting However I don’t think there is anything wrong with a woman approaching a man – so perhaps intiating the very first small move (introducing herself for example) – and then letting him pursue you Some men are shy or for whatever reason don’t intiallly talk to you (for the first move) but once they know you’re interested they should chase you of course – if they don’t then absolutely they don’t want to be caught What do others think. Rejection isn’t the reason really! Honestly better be rejected and Move on The problems is knowing that men don’t appreciate ANYTHING unless worked for He gets you easily then you just don’t mean much to him and in his eyes you just don’t have any value whatsoever Simple So you may not be rejected and be in a relationship with a man and know deep down in your heart that he doesn’t give you his heart That’s WORST than rejection! I cannot believe I found this just in time before I made more of a fool of myself I have been seeing this man for 1.5 months He’s been attentive constantly messaging me checking on my day calling me sexy complimenting me…I thought there was a connection I was desperate for that connection I guess So this past week has made me open my eyes and realize deep down this isn’t going to work He had to go out of town unexpectedly things were quiet for 4 days it drove me nuts since he had been so communicative with me up to that point that I knew deep down something was wrong Sure enough I found out he had a problem out of state that kept him there and unable to contact me or anyone for that matter and I DO believe it there. Save my name email and website in this browser for the next time I comment Very true I just got out of a similar “relationship” with someone who played me massively He used me for sex vanished then came back for more – a pattern that stretched out over the course of a few months Needless to say it shattered my self-esteem and made me feel absolutely disgusting I’m a smart girl but he made a fool out of me I kept hoping that maybe there was more to him than that but there wasn’t Realizing the you like is actually an asshole and accepting it is one of the hardest things Fortunately I’m outta there and healing Funny how vulnerable your own demons and unresolved issues make you Thanks for the read! Amazingly true. I’ve written a list of all of his faults Absolutely anything you can think of!! Read it whenever you want to contact him then don’t! Let him do the and if he doesn’t he doesn’t deserve you anyway! xo. Yes!! I feel like I have been made a fool of so much lately They all say one thing but actually want/mean another When they come back (out of the blue) they always know the right thing to say to keep me on their hook Well no more!!! I love reading Mandy’s posts They are always so timely for me – right words at the right time ACOctoThis is PERFECT and very apropos of my life right now! Thank you thank you THANK YOU for this reminder Needed it! Xoxo I am a A genuine happy positive and honest person Towards women I play no and have no hidden intentions Many woman at school and work like me but I never chase after them because what I have in my chest They never ask me and I have never told them In their minds they think whatever In my chest my goal and passion is to be perfect for love Physically emotionally spiritualy mentally and from all aspects I want to become a pure human being and develop all the good qualities of human nature I dont agree or believe in dating because it BS Thus the girls that like me never ask me with honesty and humility why I dont chase after them and I never tell them Women are spoiled by too many men after them to sleep with them I have had sex once which was stupid mistake but never have kissed a girl in my life or had a girlfriend Love and perfection are my deepest desires. Yes this is so true in so many way I found out the hard way to and beginning to start this new journey after much disappointment and regrets now taking my own time and sliding the to come after me Thank you so for reminding me of my worth in life God Bless you Reply » EdnaJThis has been a eye opening today for me. Excellent… WELL SAID!!!!!! Reply » Zara kJanuGreat article! This is so true No matter how modern day dating might be and many men saying they like it when a woman also chases takes initiatives It’s clearly not reality So true just need to remind myself of this daily Reply » PattiOctober 9 2015Yes this is so very true! And I do know it but I have to be reminded of it from time to time We as women are so worthy to be pursued and wooed! Believe that! Wow this really isn’t true I’m reading this and feeling sad at the amount of potential happy relationships that this may have stopped from happening We are not all the same we all go through different phases in life sometimes we want to be chased and other times we want to chase If there’s a man out there that you want then you should try and get him maybe he’s not feeling good about himself it has given up all hope of finding a great girl by looking because he has had no luck or it could be a thousand other reasons Please don’t let this stop you from making a man happy We are not all. Hi sweetie Late response but I was there too at 18 and he turned out to be the best thing I never had – sometimes not getting what you want can be a wonderful stroke of luck Focus on the wonderful person you are becoming instead and put. As a younger woman/girl I never chased anyone And s would stand in line pursuing me Then came the time when I turned that around whoever my heart would fall for And since then I have had no luck at all with men I had convinced myself that by doing the chase it would mean that I knew what I wanted and it would show as a strong quality unfortunately men don’t see that It’s natures course of how mating should be My mother always used to tell me go for the that falls for you and not the other way around How right those words were As I sit here 33 years old after 1 failed marriage and a even more failed dating life I have come to the same term let the men chase But it’s so damn hard when you’re used to do it It’s kind of like a habit maybe a change is gonna come now that the problem is recognized. […] Women realize that this is your golden period it will never come back so why waste it running after a man who’s not even going to be a permanent member of your life in the future? Besides you’re so young and why cage yourself in relationships when you have time to focus on your careers? Try avoiding them for now and make the better of yourself […] I think you have a point BOctober 9 2015Great article! I agree with everything What does it look and feel like when I’m not a ? Practically speaking what does it look like when the running shoes. Thanks for sharing your story In this world of instant everything we forget that good things take time Be desirable not desperate And if a man is pursuing you make sure he finds treasure not trash when he catches you sarahApHi I wish I could be that strong Been with my partner 4 years always told be patient about plans plans nothing excuses all the time.I am old enough to be strong and let go but I can’t hoping he will realise what we. Very well stated I sincerely hope no one thought negative of you for speaking. Mandy i woukd like your input on a man that pursues and then does a 180 I feel like i am on the same page and then they back way up and im just standing there confused and wanting to fix things. Thank you for the reminder and the much needed reality check!!! Reply » TshenoloOctoSo very nowadays are cowards!instead of being honest and open with you,they just string you along and make a fool out. Hello Brian Thank you for your post I’m a “good” girl whose impression of most young christian men is that of being a dork who doesn’t know how to handle himself You sound like someone I’d like to meet someday Someone who would appreciate intensity warmth and vivaciousness that comes in a Christian package without assuming I’m “cold” or “needy”… figuring me out instead of assuming I like what you said about emotional intimacy before physical intimacy That connection is what is the core of every relationship and if God’s involved I believe nothing can shake it God bless you and the strength you have I hate the weakness I feel and I need that reminder. It would be very nice for a change to have a very nice woman approach us since many of us Good men do get rejected when we approach them Reply » marthSeptemAmazing! Love this post Notice only men disagree because they want women to boost their. Rob: Well said In today’s dating game women are not approachable you can’t even buy a girl a drink to break the ice I will be honest I am not gonna chase a girl that wants to play Also if a person can’t work out if a person us stringing them along then more fool them and that goes both ways Trouble is everyone thinks there is something better out there that’s not to say you are to settle but no one likes and what they have instead they look at what they don’t have What is today’s. I was just needing to heard that in fact I am this men I comes and then disappear and then ally backs and knows I will listen and started to txt or call him but this last time I am done He never call Now all the sudden he call around 2 am He called me a couples of ence we talked and now he doesn’t answer and I started to the same thing again I am glad that your article put me back where I belong to. Dear Mandy I’m a that happened in to your site by chance and I think your article is spot on The only thing that I would like to add is this Since males do Almost all of the and pursuing they are very aware from experience of all of the pitfalls of The conclusion you reach in #3 about the man not being a great because he will not make the time or spend the energy to honestly reject you is frustration that far more men go through as they chase the objects of their desires In my opinion On average a woman is far less likely to honestly explain that she is just not that into you So when texts go unreturned and she’s helping a friend do her hair on date night s immediately call into question the woman’s character and honesty
Great Reasons! A friend of mine and I concluded that while s are super SLOW to figure out what it is they want in their lives you’ve got to let them figure it out on their own No matter how hard you chase them or how hard you try to make them see the light they just won’t get it until they learn on their own Once they do they can make differentiation and appreciate the good women out there and spot the marriage material women Until then girls reach new personal goals and live the single life to the fullest Personally I’ve taken up traveling Not to say that lonely nights won’t pop in but doing exciting things are always great distractions Let God decides the right time and and let Him fully prepared. Brilliant just what I needed to read at the right time Reply » LeboOctober 8 2015This I also learned first hand Thank. […] Source: /2015/10/08// […] Omg!!! This so true!!!! I’m doing this now,but after reading this article. Dear Courtney – if he really likes you he will ask you out Patience is key don’t rush don’t jump the gun let him strategize how he will ask you out SAugCourtney if you introduce yourself to a shy man and he does not pursue you he either does not like you enough or he may be weird/crazy either way what type of life would you have with him if he did eventually marry you? A one Normally weird s can’t hold a. Been there! Done that I am totally different now No man will ever use me and not respectfully realize I am not a plastic doll to use You’re going to court and date this woman or you are going to take your. Thanks this was very helpful It hurt but the truth usually does I’m learning to love me the way I am and remember I am not my past Reply » TracyOctober 8 2015This is exactly what I needed right now It is so true We are worthy of being pursued. I had this happen for 9 months One of the most painful things to realize was that he wasn’t ever going to let me have his heart even when he said I had it Actions always speak and prove how someone truly feels Everything ended but in the end I realized how much I was worth And it is true; the who wants you will always pursue you. Hi okay so I am just going to be brutally honest right now I would appreciate if you could give me advice in this situation There is this very attractive very well liked that I hooked up with two weeks ago He snapped me a few times after but we really haven’t talked since And to be honest we didn’t really talk before either I really want to ask him to hook up with me again but a few things are holding me back The first is that I do not want to seem desperate Should he be the one to contact me first again or is it okay if I go ahead and initiate it? The second is it worth it? I think hooking up with him is more about further establishing my self-esteem than anything else Yes I enjoyed it but not as much as I would have if I actually had feelings for him I guess I am just very conflicted on what to do I know the biblical answer but I am searching for. I agree with you 110% I chased a that i thought was perfect my dream man on and off for 20 years Needless to say when i finally caught the relationship was an epic fail that didn’t even last a year Not that i regret it though After i recovered from the very messy breakup i finally felt from him and a couple of years later life could not be better I certainly won’t be lacing up my running shoes any. If you truly have hopes of finding a decent Christian man to date try Christian Mingle or E-harmony Tinder was created as a “hook-up” site So dont’ be surprised if they ask you a lot more inappropriate things than what color your panties are. Excellent addition to the blog! I went through that for 5 years!! Ugh! Once I got away from it a year later my total dream come true man pursued me I am so blessed to have this real true man in my life PearlOctober 8 2015Thank you!!! The cold hard fact! Love. Thank you for taking the time to read my reflection on this article I am open to comments and replies as this is ultimately a conversation not an argument Reply » EmmaDecemOh my goodness where do you live? Can we start a relationship please?!? You sound like a very thoughtful person! This has changed my life today Deep down we know when we are truly valued but our need to be loved blinds us to the truth Not easy to be strong but so worth it in the end and have your feelings of self-esteem restored. This is not right Men should NOT have to chase women Those men who didn’t want to be with the girls who’s after them Are not worth the time Its good to do a little But don’t make the man do all the work Because men will have the same problems if they have to chase all. I do believe these can be some harsh words but so very true What women have to realize is everyone you may like may not have the same feelings as you When that happens we need to put our big panties on and move around It may hurt for the moment but will not last forever. I just did this with a We’ve been “dating” for a few months It started out ok Actual dates He would call Started getting to where it was always going to his house and I was always initiating contact He was always “busy” Haven’t talked to him in a few weeks I decided that I am worth more than he was making me feel So no contact on my side If he wants to talk he has my number I’m actually not obsessed about it either which is a first for me and I’ve learned that he isn’t worth my time if I’m not. Being a male your first reason for women to not chase a is a good reason why s don’t like to chase women It is exhausting and dead blow to the self esteem.! Ladies you’ll have to admit it’s much easier for a woman to pick up a man than vise versa Is our time not worth anything to women.? Why should men be the ones to initiate everything.? If a man feels his efforts are going nowhere he drops it and tries something else I would agree most men are genetically wired to provide hunt and gather Not chase the female species Women wanted equal everything I have nothing against that whats wrong with a woman putting forth an effort.? Introducing an unforgettable cast of strivers and rogues Jake Halpern chronicles their lives as they manage high-pressure call centers hunt for paper in Las Vegas casinos and meet in parked cars to sell the social security numbers and account information of unsuspecting consumers He also tracks a "package" of debt that is stolen by unscrupulous collectors leading to a dramatic showdown with guns in a Buffalo corner store Along the way he reveals the human cost of a system that compounds the troubles of hardworking Americans and permits banks to ignore their former customers The result is a vital exposé that is also a bravura feat of storytelling. Do not be put off by that idea experimenting is key Say you are to act vaguely uninterested it could go both ways It’s a success and you get the man or you don’t When all else fails show more interest so they are aware you like them but are not going to chase them Going back to what I said earlier people desire things that are a struggle to gain To make him feel more of a man he is going to want you to be more interested and will thus do the – in hope that you will reciprocate which will boost his ego because again he feels desired Don’t fall down the trap of not making it clear how you feel eventually people get tired and they move on when they aren’t getting what. Thank you so much for your onsights ! Actually I do like a man and I am wondering should I take the first step to make the relationship grow closer…hahaha…Yeap you are right ! The man should take the lead in the relationship That will be a long term relationship I thank God for your advice. Every time you come up with these amazing words at the right time!! Thank you Sooo much!! Reply » karenOctoThanx dear im in the same situation and the worse part of it is that he is married It bugs me to no end when I read all the s commenting about how this advice is wrong and they actually “like” to be chased Just No ! They say/think that but I completely agree with most of the women – and know from experience – if it happens they lose interest and run the. Flip the script reverse the roles Can the truth still. So happy you found your way here Alice! Sending love and prayers and well wishes to you in the new year I hope you’ll check out my new book Beautiful Uncertainty…I think it will bless you! 🙂. That’s what is happening right now,I can’t even stop,I keep texting him every min,sometimes he just read and not reply,but I see my self texting again,I feel like am going insane,I just want to let him go,but I can’t I just have to delete his contacts but didn’t block him,just in case he want me around,and he want to be with me,but I can’t wait any longer,I just want my love for him. Loved this article…its just awesome beyond words I just wanted to say one line Be a lady that he want to live with and can’t live without And if either of the things are not fitting the situation he is not the man who would move mountains to be. L have moved can a man who doesn’t communicate you at all tell you that you nag and complain just bcos you asked him why he isn’t he said you don’t understand him. This WAS EXACTLY MY EXPERIENCE ! I can happily say Ive retired from Men! No more wasting time:) TraceyFebruBRILLIANT – I have to stop useless men!! They sap my energy and make me depressed – it has.
Ok ladies i’m going to make things easier on you First of all this word “chase” means different things to different people So why not try this instead How is it that you want a man to treat you? Figure it out please and then tell us…!!! We are not mind readers If you like doors opened for you tell us say thank you…! Tell us you like it when we hold the door for you Then guess what we’ll do it if we care ! It only takes one time for a to get shunned on the door thing before he assumes that you don’t like it Communicate with us ! What do you like? Do you like a morning text or a goodnight text Do you like to be left alone during the day or do you enjoy constant messages? As a man I’m calling bullshit on this We as men will chase what we want But at the same time if we are constantly being pushed away rejected and felt downright unwanted we will stop pursuing her It hurts us just as for us to be rejected in that way that makes us feel unwanted as well elightened oneNovemThis is so so so true When I feel like I am constantly trying to chase a for our relationship to work,that so one sided The should call or text me I feel like I ‘m not doing all the rowing in the boat called our relationship. I read these comments and most of what i’m hearing is i’m going to ignore him and see what he does Well guess what there is a girl out there paying attention to your who is winning his heart cause she has the balls to tell him what it is she wants in. Well said! Bravo! Reply » AlmaNovemCouldn’t be any truer An addition to the list – If you keep a man it makes you appear desperate and unwanted by other men which is totally unattractive. […] Somewhere down the line women have completely missed the memo of letting a man ‘court’ you before marriage or long-term comittment Yes I said ‘court'; it’s old traditional and totally detached from the vocabulary of women today Women have simply signed an air agreement to being a man’s wife before he ever acknowledges you publicly as his girlfriend (Steve Harvey calls it PROFESS) The roles have changed and now women are doing more of the pursuing making it more difficult for traditional single woman to get a man Mandy Hale of writes in her blog Five Reasons Why You Should Never Chase a the cold hard truth behind a He doesn’t want… read. Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the Kindle App Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone tablet or computer - no Kindle device required Simply amazing ” I only chase dreams not People ” Best Statement A Single confident & Self Dependent Woman can say 🙂 Reply » DapheneOctober 8 2015Read this through tears I’ve been doing this and I’m stopping. To get the app enter your mobile phone number. I have to say I feel funny with the logic of Point 1 In my other areas of life I don’t consider potential negative affects on my self-esteem as a justifiable reason not to do something – I go to the gym even though people might be looking at me I sing when I don’t have the greatest voice I take jobs and ministry opportunities I feel imposterish in and mostly I follow Christ’s example of faith and courage to do things that make me uncomfortable or in which I am afraid because these strengthen my faith courage and help me grow in trust of Him Why should relationships be different? I don’t lose my dignity or self-esteem if he doesn’t reciprocate or I get rejected In fact I strengthen. Just an awesome blog I have been doing the for 8 months and everything you posted here is so true Sadly I know that and cant understand why I cant let go I have already been intimate with him so it makes it all that much harder. Thank you so much for this message Mandy I will admit that I’m a that I really want to be with but he’s giving me all of the oblivious signs that he doesn’t want to be with me and I need to accept that it’s a relationship that’s not meant to be And stop looking like an idiot Thanks again… This really helped me with what I did I’ve chased a at my school for a year and a one point he did like and asked me out but his parents didn’t like our age difference so we couldn’t be together We stayed friends I still had a huge crush on him and I never got over him until something happened that never should’ve happened Now were no longer friends and it upsets me mentally that I see him everyday and can’t say hey But now its been three weeks since the incident happened and I’ve moved on to someone who came to me and who likes me for me I’m happy now and reading this I know now I’m not the only one who’s felt like this or has chased after a that was my friend but I need up losing him because something that can never change Yes YES YES ….I CANT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW TRUE THIS BLOG IS I AM GUILTY OF BEING THE PURSUERS AND SEVERAL MEN IN MY PAST RELATIONSHIP AND I CANT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW OLD THAT CAN GET I AM A 33 YEAR SINGLE WOMAN WITH NO KIDS AND CURRENTLY DATING SOMEONE I DONT CHASE ANYMORE EVEN WITH THE I AM CURRENTLY SEEING I AM KEEPING MY OPTIONS OPEN UNTIL THIS MAN CAN SHOW ME HES REALLY THAT INTO ME AND SERIOUS ABOUT ME I CANT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH DATING HAS CHANGED AND HOW IT HAS GOTTEN TO THE POINT THAT WOMAN FEEL THAT THEY HAVE TO DOWN GRADE THEMSELVES AND SELF WORTH I KNOW BECAUSE I WAS THAT GIRL LADIES RISE UP AS WELL AS MEN WE AS WOMEN ARE THE PRIZE AND TREASURE MEN ARE THE HUNTERS I NOW DONT CHASE I DONT BEG AND IF THEY WANT TO GO I THROW UP MY DEUCES AND SAY BYE FELICIA AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT… AT ALL LADIES YOU ARE THE TREASURE THE PRIZE AND RARE RUBY….LOVE. Back in the day when there were no Facebook texting social media or internet; my stepdad had no choice but to initiate conversation with a woman he was interested in I agree with him when he says men nowadays are cowards Reply » DawnNovemCowards. Wolfgang and Lyn – Great story! I cannot see that Lyn could be diminished in any way for showing her interest in her future husband! OuaibaOctober 2 2016I really enjoyed reading your articles We definitely don’t need to waste time and energy on I have been there and I won’t do it. Lol i’m a who’s done throwing my time to the wind u girls who think u’r gods gift to the world truth is my time is just as valuable as urs relationships r only real when they’re created with mutual efforts it’s not my fault most s r shit it’s also not my fault that most girls r equally shit with this said i’m not in any way interested in a girl who isn’t batshit crazy about me this is why i talk to foreign girls cause american girls r conceited and spoiled. The Federal Trade Commission receives more complaints about rogue debt collecting than about any activity besides identity theft Dramatically and entertainingly Paper reveals why It tells the story of Aaron Siegel a former banking executive and Brandon Wilson a former armed robber who become partners and go in quest of "paper"―the uncollected debts that are sold off by banks for pennies on the dollar As Aaron and Brandon learn the world of consumer debt collection is an unregulated shadowland where operators often make unwarranted threats and even collect debts that are not theirs. If he’s giving you attention pursuing and taking you out on dates introduces you to friends and family spends the holidays with you but tells you initially that he’s not ready for a relationship and his heart is still with his ex….don’t waste your time (like I did for a year 2014) Don’t give him anymore of your time He is only with you for sex and for his selfish reasons He will replace you and move on to the next girl It’s purely sexual for him only Friends with Benefits I’m still not. I feel when you chase a man that clearly has made it a point to that the only time he has for you is for sex you do have blinders on and you have somehow lost self respect as well Reply » KarinaOctober 9 2015That’s exactly what happened. Thanks SO much to all the men who have voiced their thoughts here You are all appreciated! It is important to me to know what you s are thinking and wanting too It makes it so much easier for the few of us who really want a good relationship to know what. Exactly Mandy Life is too precious to be wasted on unrequited love Way too precious!! #teamnocompromising Completely right Thanks for sharing Reply » VanessaOctoOMG! This is such an eye opener It’s so me that it’s kinda sad 🙁 … The hard part is actually putting it in practice I needed to hear this right on time….Good advice ChristineOctober 8 2015Love this! Exactly what I needed. This was perfect for me to read tonight All things are meant to be I almost stopped tonight where a new man I recently started dating goes for a drink once in a while Makeup and hair perfect and I decided to drive by and head for home Felt better with my decision after reading this It’s the advice I would and have given a close friend If this man wants to date me he will call and pursue me Simple as that Thanks again I never said a man should chase a woman I said a woman should NOT chase a man Regardless of what anyone says…men were built to be pursuers hunters gatherers It’s NATURE So when you take that natural instinct away from a man by pursuing him the relationship has nowhere to go but down I’ve experienced this myself every friend I have has experienced this every reader who writes to me asking for advice has experienced this Not a man has nothing to do with “making him do all the work.” A woman should certainly be engaged and reciprocate when she’s interested…but to blatantly chase and pursue a man is a recipe for disaster If you prove me wrong I will happily print a retraction But I’ve never in my 37 years of life seen a situation end well when a woman was the constant instigator and pursuer of a relationship. What a great post! And so timely for me I feel like technology has ruined the dating world (for me at least) I always feel like I’m ! These s are so lazy these days All they ever want to do is text They never want to talk on the phone or set up a “meet” or “date” I feel so frustrated Time to take off my running shoes and give myself a break!! Love to. This was really helpful! It was a great reminder of something I’ve been pushing to back of my mind Lately I’ve been trying to catch myself and slowly change my pursuing into simply getting to know this (in hopes of a genuine and close friendship) rather than make him like me He has wonderful qualities and I really do like him but I’m learning that if He is who God intended for me God will make that very clear I shouldn’t be questioning whether he likes me too! I’ve shifted my perspective on just getting to know not only him but everyone else in my life a little better and strengthening my relationships with people Besides I don’t need to worry about marriage yet so this isn’t even necessary! But thanks again for a great reminder to keep myself on track to becoming a better me! Fulfillment by Amazon (FBA) is a service we offer sellers that lets them store their products in Amazon's fulfillment centers and we directly pack ship and provide customer service for these products Something we hope you'll especially enjoy: FBA items qualify for Shipping and Amazon Prime If you're a seller Fulfillment by Amazon can help you increase your sales We invite you to learn more about Fulfillment by Amazon Oh boy…#3 and #5 hit it right on the head!!! that was me a year ago in a relationship that lasted 8 months and all of the sudden without any kind of communication pooof he was gone and all I got was…I need time alone I was like an idiot calling texting but never did I get a response except for the first one saying “if you come to my house or I think you are coming to my house I will call the police. Don’t you hate it when you’re interested in a man and you actually give him attention but then acts iffy Soon after you move on they come running back and bug you when you’ve already lost feelings SalenaLord have mercy nothing truer then these words Six yrs later and I am here now feeling lower then low can go All Alone praying that he will get better but everytime it gets worse Thank you for these words I am 36 will be 37 in two Months I started this at 30 enough years wasted it time I get better. I so needed this today thank you for posting This is the flat out truth that we all need to hear especially in today’s culture. Perfect timing Perfect I AM worth pursuing He shouldn’t make me feel that I have to coordinate my complex life to accommodate his That’s NOT the way it works I was about to apologise for telling him I missed him and couldn’t wait to see him which made him feel “pressurised” I think perhaps I will stop making the massive amount of effort to show how I feel about him and let him spoil me and run around after me for a change I felt absolutely humiliated hearing him tell me I am rushing him he made me feel like an immature fool God has impeccable timing! I really enjoyed the comments from the guse I believe they give a more rounded view of the topic than just one side’s perspective Thanks for sharing the articleaning and thank you s for sharing your views ☺ Reply » KimFebruary 1 2017It has taken me 20 years to figure out that my biggest enemy is myself I have wasted too much time being married to the world’s oldest. Such a good blog Thank you for writing this and giving me a reminder that the I’ve been is stupid and that I am worth being pursued Reply » LauraOctober 8 2015So glad to see I’m not alone I relate to so many of these comments it’s sad Excruciating. B – if your question was not in jest in a nutshell: you should not initiate texts calls or dates You shouldn’t “lead” or “pull” the man along BUT when he makes advances (gentlemanly ones) you should be open friendly and warm Let your light shine The easiest way I have found to try to do this (and it isn’t easy) is to stay in the mindset of not caring either way about the outcome Just do you and have the idea in your head that if he chases you it’s great because you’re awesome and you want to get to know him and if he doesn’t chase you then that’s great too because you’re fine and happy on your own and enjoying this amazing life you’ve created for yourself (And if you haven’t created your amazing life yet that’s your first step and adventure Best wishes and good luck!-Pearl “ Paper gives readers an intimate knowledge of the debt-collecting industry but more important it gives a comprehensive profile of the people in our country who live and die by the industry This ultimately is the book's power and attraction.” ―Frank Tempone Chicago Tribune“[A] wonderful inquiry into the seamy multilayered world of consumer debt collection both an entertaining sociology of the debt-collecting fraternity and a picaresque romp through the industry's most unsavory byways.” ―Julia M Klein The Boston Globe“An enjoyable and educational read with stories that sound too good to be true and word-for-word conversations that a Hollywood screenwriter couldn't make up.” ―Jonathan Epstein Buffalo News“A dramatic rise-and-fall tale Halpern brings unexpected literary heft to the world of debt collection.” ―Kirkus I just stumbled across this blog tonight and I’m literally crying reading this post It’s the advice I didn’t know I needed I thought I was empowering myself because I pursued men I thought I had an advantage over other girls because men weren’t ‘use to it’ and they must like the ego boost But how could I be so wrong?! All my actual nice serious relationships started when they pursued me Every single time I have done the it crashed and burned dramatically I had no idea why until now Thank you so much you have given me a new direction and perspective on relationships and love to follow. Thanks!! I needed to see this I am REALLY about this and literally just did it the past day or so- I hate feeling like its over after a fight I literally expect things to be over after a fight then i’ll dump the dude then realize oops i didnt mean it- its a vicious cycle that i want to break cos i feel like an ass every time i do it cos then i feel lie what if i have opened up the idea to the person Thats when the begins This probably has to do with the repeated dysfunctional relationships I have allowed myself to exist in I do not know what a normal love situation looks like and so i tend to want to clench onto whatever i feel resembles it in my head… anyway I do so ly wanna change this I want love Real love stable love and none i have to chase for I have never been an online person and i feel its not for me and i am not that interested in social media anymore. Brian Thanks and you sound like a great man But as a single Christian man as the way you describe yourself wouldn’t you be the pursuer -he who finds a wife… -don’t you think? Men are natural pursuers and a woman can give a man a strong hint but if he’s not responding and she is doing it with a quality man then she should move on because he’s not interested in her -wouldn’t you agree? A good man should recognize a woman’s value if he is the right one for her and a woman should not waste her time trying to make him do so if her Adam is not waking up then maybe he’s not her Adam or maybe he’s not quite husband material. This was wonderful I’ve been interested in a man for over six months He is busy- we all are- yet he has time always for his friends or other people I’ve told him that I really enjoy talking with him spending time with him He said he did with me as well However he never makes plans to spend with me I won’t case him I like spending time with him but I enjoy the company of many of my friends: I just don’t want to kiss them as I do him He’s going to be “friend zoned” as this is what happens to the s in my life who- at one time I had believed had the potential of being more than a friend- but they didn’t see me as important enough Odd aftetwards how they always kick themselves- I’m not vain I just know my worth and value I’m grateful for your blog: it reiterated what I know but at times temporarily forget 🙂 This is totally me right now! What kind of response is because I’m conditioned that way? I don’t trust anyone because of the trifling women around here I can’t fall and don’t let my emotions get out of control…but then I see he has a heart and it’s hard for me to just. Wow Im literaly in tears Thank u sooo much U are. Hi thanks for the sensible advice… I needed to hear it!! I joined a dating site recently and really seemed to hit it off with this a fellow arien … Which is one of the excuses i gave myself when he didn’t message me back… After a few days of waiting online at the same time he was on so he was aware I was online too… But nothing… So I finally deleted all our messages and looked to you for some moral support… I’ve been alone for around 9 years now and to be honest its hard but I guess alone with some dignity is better than a heartless loser!! Hey mandi I totally agree with what you said about us men being hunters and gathers but your wrong this is the truth from history hunter-gatherer is a human living in a society in which most or all food is obtained by foraging (collecting wild plants and pursuing wild animals) in contrast to agricultural societies which rely mainly on domesticated species you said us men are hunters and gathers and persue women when in fact the truth is used men persue our dreams and hope to make a decent living and make our ancestors proud thank you for. I am glad to know it is not easy for a woman to stop someone I guess it is our nature to desire for connection Also my behaviour was initiated as the result of wanting to clarify any misunderstanding It is good to note that when man see the woman as needy get the misinterpretation that the woman is after money I think I have to come to terms with the fact a man who did love me once has been driven away from me due to my inability to stand on my own Was loosing my self confidence but now know that I am not the only one with the challenge. This is just one scenario that I have repeatedly seen play out between two people Granted in this scenario the didnt do anything nor did he have any courage to advance the relationship like the woman did Which is why I want to stress the point that the roles of this scenario could easily be switched between the two Just as in the article the roles can be just as easily switched I do not have the experience nor the knowledge to either confirm or deny the “innate hunter” complex but I think that it’s safe to assume that it could be very present in some men and hardly present at all in others. But what do you do if the only men who pursue you are losers you don’t want to date? Settle for one of them or pursue someone you like? It just seems if it’s the right it wouldn’t matter who pursued who So I have to disagree with this article I think it shows alot of self confidence to pick who you want and go for it There’s a difference between being desperate and pursuing Besides you can tell if a man likes you when your with him If you still pursue him after being around him and he seems not interested thats the problem This is true YenNovember 1 2016True Fulfillment by Amazon (FBA) is a service we offer sellers that lets them store their products in Amazon's fulfillment centers and we directly pack ship and provide customer service for these products Something we hope you'll especially enjoy: FBA items qualify for Shipping and Amazon Prime If you're a seller Fulfillment by Amazon can help you increase your sales We invite you to learn more about Fulfillment by Amazon I would not chase a man because… 1 I’d be rejected 2 I’d be rejected 3 I’d be rejected 4 I’d be rejected 5 I’d be rejected Already tried it Being rejected is the word to define my life and I do not need more of it anymore Reply » Can't rain all the timeMaMen get rejected too Very descriptive blog I enjoyed that bit Will there be. You are amazing I actually teared up reading this because it is so true! All of it!! I solely believe everything you said I’ve had girlfriends tell me that “he’s just afraid because he knows how amazing you are” and I always say no! I don’t believe that! He’s running away from me because he simply does not care! Though it may hurt to realize that it much better than living in a delusional world Thanks for this post it reminds me to stick to my guns and not to romanticize my rejection. Men will do anything to avoid feeling vulnerable And if we chase them they can relax So even if they like you lots isn’t a good idea….They will take the upper hand and keep it so you never feel at ease and you give away more than is healthy. […] /2015/10/08// […] Sometimes the stars just align I’m sitting here in utter disbelief that my engagement and relationship of five years is just gone I needed to be smacked into reality and this article was the thing to do it Thank you for the insight!! As I sat here and read this I got my 8am “good morning” text from him We text all day everyday He says he just wants to be friends but is so jealous if I speak of another male I’m very honest about my feelings for him but he’s only receptive at times Very kind to me we hang out have sex but not always Sometimes we just hold each other Very confusing However reading this has kept me from responding to his Good Morning text Gonna wait and see if he misses me Might take all day before he gets a response Great read. Your email address will not be t Name * Email * Website Hello Mandy ! On page 76 0f “The Single Woman” you offered a chapter in favor of being “hard to get” I’ve had way too much of “hard to get” in my life and not enough of “giving me a chance” or “being available” You’re stereotyping men There ARE ways a woman can give me a challenge but that comes AFTER we get into a relationship Looking through the photo section of your Facebook page I saw where you wrote “Something I just recently learned is that chased love is not love ” “The person you’re meant to be with will never have to be chased begged or given an ultimatum ” and “A happy life isn’t about a man or having a man …” Why does that go for a woman but not for. I do believe that initially a man should indeed pursue a woman I personally would like to know that a man is interested in me before we develop a friendship/relationship Once we begin spending time together getting to know one another I think the “chase” should become equal in a sense I think men also want to know that the woman he is pursuing is just as interested as he is So that he is not wasting his time either So yes once I am “in relationship” with a man I think that we should text each other call one another make time for one another etc… No relationship should ever be one sided That’s just my true opinion When a man acts as if he does not have time for me I’ve learned over the years to move on and let it go At one point I worked 2 jobs and while attending College I still had time for my man at the time When you care about someone you make time for that person and you want to be a part of.